It's Like Running a Shop

Like running a shop, easily the worst thing about running a LARP is the customers. Not the people attending, not the crew or other referees. The players.

I know, that sounds horrendously unfair doesn’t it?

It also happens to be true.

The reason is mostly obvious – crew, referees and other attendees (such as your on-site cameraman) can all be given directions, instructions, and generally told what to do or not do. They help make the game – and what’s more, want to help make the game – and that means they stay within the guidelines, recognise the boundaries and at least make an attempt, no matter how faux, to get along.

With players you don’t have any of those luxuries. They’re like the worst-behaved step-child: “you don’t control me!”

Well… no, I don’t. Nor do I want to. Doesn’t mean you get to go stomping all place, demanding shit you don’t have any right to access, snob your way through “I know better” and generally behave like a spoilt little brat.

There’s numerous lists and ‘guides’ written on the internet about how to deal with these kinds of bad players, but for some reason, in LARP it’s so much harder to do. Why? Because of the nature of the game, its players – but mostly, because of other, really poorly managed games that spoil it for the rest of us.

A few examples:

I once attended a Linear game of a local LARP called “Shadow Realms”, run by a portion of Seaxe and Sorcery. It’s a high-fantasy (read: on LSD) system, with high-hits, much flailing and generally ‘epic’ type Player Characters.

When the ref turned up he told us it was “something I’d just written on a napkin at the bar late last night”. Woo – way to plan in advance.

The “Linear” consisted of 4 Encounters (yes, you read that right, 4) for an 8-hour game that was essentially:

• Scared villagers calling ‘singles’ that ran away from the players when they could
• Tough villagers calling ‘doubles’ that attacked the players when they could
• Scared barbarians calling ‘singles’ that ran away from the players when they could
• Tough barbarians calling ‘doubles’ that attacked the players when they could

Bearing in mind that all the Player Characters except a low-ranking Baron (I think he was a Baron, some knight anyway) and a fae-like faerie had armour and dexterity to easily ignore a ‘double’ (I believe a couple t ‘triple’ calling crew were added later, but still). Even though damage is never really ignored (the bruising rule means you still suffer 1) when PC’s Health Pool is around 75, suffering 1 damage per hit is pretty pointless.

During the game the low-level Baron character was seriously wounded and the other characters didn’t have any healing abilities (including potions – seriously, WTF?) and so the Baron started dying and went past the Grace into death.

He stamped his feet and cried – yes, he really did stamp! He was really upset – which is understandable because we all get attached to our characters.

But the lead ref turned round and gave him a “full heal”. No reason, other than a whining player that was behaving like he was 6.

In a similar vein, I remember being at Alrune where a PC that had only been around for 2 games died within the first 30 minutes. She was a bit stupid, got overlooked by the healer, it happens. But no – the game controller looked down and said “oh well, I suppose we better do a resurrection ritual”. Why? Because he was upset at a Player Character death. Fair enough, some systems have resurrection and that's cool - but not for a character that's been played for 1 game and 30 minutes - not even long enough to get a new ability or Experience.

In the UK LARP group on Facebook I once lamented that in a particular fest-system it’s difficult to get shiny-shiny items because they were so easily handed to friends of referees and there was a cap cos the game team didn’t want to saturate the system with them.

I received at least 10 messages from people more-or-less saying “I totally agree here – I’ve seen it a lot/I’ve done it myself, I wish I could openly say it and not have the system crush me”.

This kind of bullshit needs to stop.

It gives players a false sense of superiority, flexibility and power. It inflates players and referees egos so much so that when they attend other games they think the game will accommodate them as well.

I had a player once attend my game and stamp their feet and scream right in my face because they wanted to be able to transform into a bear – there was no means for her to do it, but she was going to get it, dammit! In another game she attended, she suggested it and the games allowed her to sink creation points into a skill that didn’t exist until she came along.

The game had made an allowance for her – without her having to put any effort in or give anything up that she wouldn’t normally have to. The system broke for her.

So she expected me to do the same.

Smaller games, new games, more free-style games all suffer because of the way larger, more influential or developed games perpetuate the image that games are “player lead” or that players are in control.

In a blog written by a friend, Mr Hunter After-battenberg says about the backstabbing and bitching rot was pervading his favourite game of Labyrinth – a game famous for its use of the Chislehurst Caves in Kent.

I know the Hunter to be a rather jolly fellow – so to read this dour, depressing tale of keyboard bitching (isn’t it always nowadays!) made my heart really go out to him. The line he was told “oh that’s just how they are, they're always like it, nothing we can do” from the referee just goes to highlight that point – by the referees not taking action, they were encouraging bullying, intolerance, and players getting their own way. It’s bullshit.

I highlight this as a symptom of poor management in certain games.

Rude people exist everywhere. Bitches do too. A couple of my friends are being manipulated by someone and they’re finding it very difficult to understand that a person they trust and know so well could be two-faced and using them for their own ends. I guess I see it easier than them because I’ve been in their position and suffered for it due to a lack of action on my part.

But that’s exactly it, isn’t it? There’s the two-faced that don’t care that they’re putting a friend in the middle and trying to stretch them into odd shapes. There’s the bitch who ruins others fun by targeting others for some slight. There’s the one that twists words and cuts deals with the refs cos they’re mates and why shouldn’t they get anything? From the harasser that sends nasty messages online to the ‘offended’ type that can’t believe they can’t play or wear or do whatever the hell they like during Time In – even if it is at the expense of others.

And we don’t want to admit it. I didn’t. I lost my game because of it.

We don’t want to come to the conclusion that our friends are liars, cheats, or bastards. Perhaps it’s because we think it shows something about ourselves that we hang around and have a friendship with these people – in the same way I ban racists and homophobes from my friend list on Facebook.

Maybe these players are the domineering type, and we don’t stand up to them. Maybe they’re the manipulative type, and try to guilt-trip us into doing what they want. Maybe they’re the back-stabbing type, who will post multiple things about you in multiple forums or posts of Facebook or Twitter just to let everyone else know that they think you’re a dick.

And that’s also exactly the problem. By not saying “no” you’re actively being part of the problem, whether you like it or not.

One of my friends is in the unfortunate position of being friends with one such person described above. He wants to remain friends, and for this reason, doesn’t want to confront said miscreant.

But why should he? It’s nothing to do with him. He should be allowed to play the game, have fun, and have friends. That’s exactly his choice – I may have tried to warn him, but he chooses what he wishes to do.

BUT. If that person is a player at my game, I’d happily argue that it’s my moral imperative to ban them. Even if they are friends with me. I don’t think it’s’ a case of the game coming first, but simply that there’s more than my friends at my game. There are others to think about.

It’s a sad fact of being a referee – you’re friends with people during the bits in-between being a ref – but some really can’t see that there’s a line between being in ‘professional’ referee mode and being in ‘friend’ mode.

I once had to do exactly this with one of my players. I refused to discuss it, especially openly as I thought that the issue was with that player and that player alone. How wrong I was.

He posted it about on Facebook so everybody could see what a bad, bad person I am. I had several IMs asking me about it – which I didn’t do, because I thought that was part of being professional. At the same time, this guy told everyone I hadn’t given a reason – I had indeed given a reason, but perhaps I should have put it in writing or gained a signature to say he’d received it. I just didn’t because I didn’t want to involve anyone else – which he did. 

If you’re a ref in this situation I urge you to put all discipline in writing. If you’re in the wrong, you should be open to being challenged and the possibility of retracting your statement.

I received a PM on Facebook from another player telling me how “unprofessional” me and my team had been in dealing with player at fault. You mean as unprofessional as bitching on Facebook for everyone to see? You mean as unprofessional as sending me a PM to my private account, not the group account, game account or game email? You mean as unprofessional as clouding the facts and spreading it around so others think it’s ok to send me nasty emails? Yeah. Ok. I guess being professional does mean acting like a 6 year old then.

To be fair, you may not know you’re doing it. That’s why it’s a referee’s job point it out to you so it can be sorted in cleared up.

On the other side of the coin – you have a moral imperative to be a considerate player, just as much as it’s the referee’s moral imperative to discipline you for not being considerate.

Swings. Roundabouts. 

Where LARP is Going Wrong 1: Blaming the Players

Sometimes I think to myself that I’ve got it wrong - that I’m worrying too much. But I’m beginning to realise I’m not. I’m seeing this kind of attitude more and more - I think it existed when I started LARPing 12 years ago, but I think I’m recognising it more and more. And, unfortunately, a lot of organisers do it - and even know they are.

When I recently released a half-made, poorly written guide for a LARP I was going to do, one of the “Referee Commandments” in it was “never blame the player”. It’s one of my biggest rules that I’m most passionate about. It’s decidedly important to the running, success and social balance of LARP in general.

I remember once in my old game system that I had to amend a rule. This was a low-hit, locational based game, but each player species was capped at how much extra hits they could have through the ‘Endurance’ (+1 to body hits) skill alone. Goblins and Elves were at the bottom of the rungs with 1 Endurance, Humans and Orcs at 2, then Ogres and Trolls at 3. Ogre also started with 2 hits per, not 1 like everyone else.

Another referee pointed out to me that that Trolls needed to move from a cap of 3 to the same as Humans at 2. Why? Well, Trolls had is easier with buying Resistance skills – making them more-or-less immune to poisons, diseases, mind control, magic and fear. Ogres had the same cap as them and… one extra hit. Trolls could buy skills that made them like magical warriors – ‘Digestion’ that made them a veritable alchemical factory, ‘Gnosis’ that allowed them to channel magic through the weapons they carried. Ogres got… well… not much else. Those only thing going for them was their high hits. Trolls needed to change.

I put a notice on the boards and changed the rule on the website. Within moments I had one of my Troll players call my mobile and shout at me down the phone for not consulting him first. At the next linear he kicked off, arguing the toss with me over the design of my game.

Not at any point did I condemn his reasons for being angry. Not at any point did I call him names (unlike he of me) assault his character or demeanour. Eventually, when we talked it through, it was because he thought the cap was absolute – I highlighted that it was only through skills. Rituals, arcane runes and whole bunch of other stuff will allow that cap to be broken – but he might need to work harder at it. He then admitted (in private, of course) that he’d approached the situation wrong and should have asked, instead of attacking straight away.

However, having the argument in front of the other players left a bad feeling all round and the referees felt harmed. As much as I attempted to deal with the situation by cutting the player off and saying “we’ll deal with it later” the player wanted to shout and be angry and continued to shout at me. Apparently, I was the one wrong in this because I “shouldn’t have engaged in the argument with him” – I was trying to explain the decision, not argue. I cannot control other people (people have told me this enough before). If he wanted to argue, that’s up to him, not me.

But, despite all this, I never once condemned him as having a problem. Turns out, it was a misunderstanding of the rule.

This is what I mean by not blaming the players. If I had blamed the player in the above, the situation might never have resolved itself.

That being said, the player’s behaviour was disgraceful – and I admit, I got angry too, which probably didn’t help his attitude. Mind you, after putting up with his shit without intervention from other refs or to help close the situation down, I think it’s understandable I got snippy.

The difference, as a comedian once said, is the difference between acting like a cock and being a dick. You can act like a cock, and still be a reasonable person. However you are a dick.

My player was acting like a cock because he thought that stomping his feet would get him somewhere. But I wasn’t going to condemn him as a dick.

Which, unfortunately, the other referees, did.

“He’s just a cunt”

“He’s just being a fucking child”

“He’s not showing us respect, so why should we deal with him?”

The player hardly got anything at all the next event because each referee astutely avoided him.

When he attempted with a friend to craft some silver blades, the crafting time given was way too long – and the silver application was temporary because they hadn’t researched into correctly moulding silver.

Now, the player had got the rule wrong, again. Magical materials such as silver can’t be used straight away – and I was shocked that he thought that he could just get silver and do whatever he wanted with it.

But… running through the rules with him so he’s not disappointed doesn’t require much effort, and should have been done to highlight the facts to him. Running through advanced rules should take place every time they’re used, just to make sure the player is aware – and it also takes the burden of responsibility for player’s actions from you to the player.

Unfortunately, I didn’t find out till the end of the event – where he’d already decided I’d set the game against him.

An event later, the player was refused a Ritual due to the refs “not having enough time” and also much of his magic was greatly reduced in effect for no specific or given reasons. It was no wonder the player felt left out – and an argument ensued between myself and my refs, my so-called ‘support’.

So, let’s TL;DR. What does it mean when you blame your players? It means you unconsciously put them into a category (whatever you want to call it: “whinger”, “bitch” etc.) whereby from then on you don’t have to deal with them.

It means the player gets treated disproportionately unfairly – simply ignoring them doesn’t mean they’ll go away. It does mean they’ll get very upset – in my experience, players treated this way will behave like kids, and will act out against you because they feel they’re being ignored – and the only way to be recognised is to misbehave, because they’re certainly not getting anywhere any other way.
Doing it once means you do it more often. Let’s face it – it’s easier to label and blame rather than handle a toxic situation. It’s easier to call someone something demeaning and then write them off than approach them as see how you get along – such as calling a gay person a ‘fag’ or blacks as ‘niggers’. Just because it’s a different kind of discrimination – and nowhere near as horrific as others – doesn’t make it any less discriminatory.

And lastly, it means dismissing the player’s concerns, feelings and your part in them. You’ve absolved yourself, without actually taking a look at yourself, the game rules or whatever, and considering you might actually be at fault.

Don’t blame the players. It’s not nice.

The Importance of Being Vile

Though I have only recently been to a new LARP for the first time in two years, already the shit comes out of the woodwork.

LARP can have a tendency to bring out the worst in some people, and in general, can be abusive and even downright torturous. I want to explain why in another article, and also in another article why I say this - my particular experiences in specific.

A guy I know goes to a local LARP. He runs his own - this may be what's behind this particular crap, but I suspect that he's not the only one suffering this way and it's just a convenient 'excuse' for certain behaviour (though from my experiences, this is a 'good excuse' for all manner of shit) - but he has been playing at this particular LARP for over a decade.

He said he had a very bad time, and, after the day he went to, would rate the day as less than 0/10 (he'd read one of my previous reviews). That's.... worrisome.... to say the least.

What could give someone such a low opinion of a LARP?

Is it the low safety standards? The poor set up? The crap rules and rulings of the referees?

In actuality, when it comes to LARP, experience is much more like a game of DnD table top - it is the 'experience' itself that is rated. Look at the reason so many LARPS do well even though they have crap rules (Heroquest anyone...?) or a crap setting (Alrune?) or even lack of plot (Curious Pastimes?) - players go to meet friends, catch up, relax, have a holiday as well as play. Experience of a LARP is more-or-less the standard by which it's success and provision is rated by a great number of people.

It's very easy for the experience to become sour and bitter - even with great rules, good rulings, and good safety. I know because it happened to me. The reason experience turns sour is the same reason why I wanted to set up my own LARP in the first place - and the reason my LARP went downhill so quickly.

Corruption

I love that word. Makes it sound more dramatic than it is. Insidious, certainly. Vile, yes. It's a fantasy word that brings to mind sickness, plague and blood magic. In my experience it's most definitely a sickness.

But, as with religion and politics, corruption isn't as dramatic as it is in fantasy books, and it's something much darker and menacing.

Before we go further, I'd like you to do something for me. It'll only take 10 minutes at most.

Look up 'LARP review' on Google. Better yet, do it in a Private window, that way your results won't be filtered by the search engine based on your preferences.

Done?

What did you find? Let me tell you, and you can see what I mean.

No LARP system has a star rating on any site. They don't have feedback forms or review forms on their own sites. You can't find star ratings anywhere, in fact. There are indeed 'reviews', however. They all read like 'I'm going to be coming back to this game' and ratings are skewed high, the review having nothing bad to say and not even being critical or holding any evidence or reasoning.

Here's some reasons why:

•  LARP is an insular society - it's also very bratty, more so than almost any other hobby I know. Piss one person off and you piss of their friends (why? they have nothing to do with it!) and possibly the system (as if that's something to do with them as well?!?). I was worried about my last review simply because I had negative things in my opinion which has caused me to be ostracised from a group before.

There was a high amount of bitching even in my small game. One woman was banned because of it - telling everyone that I "wouldn't allow her to play what she wanted" as if that wasn't fair. First off, what she wanted to play was a highly restricted DPC, and secondly, it was awarded to the creator of said DPC ahead of her. Simple tough luck. But spreading malicious rumours was exactly the method she used to try to get me to give it to her - I even caught her doing it! When I confronted her, I asked her why. Her reply? "I didn't want you to be upset that I had an issue with the game". My game team later banned her, not necessarily because of the rumours, but because of the treatment of our good nature - the assumption she'd created.

I remember I once had an artist/photographer at my LARP. She also attended another LARP at the time. When I saw here work I was amazed; "Would you do some photos/drawings for my game?" I asked. Not entirely for my benefit - I believe LARP should be a creative release and a foundation for building confidence and skills in one's works. She told me that the other game didn't like her doing drawings or photos or their game and that's why she'd never raised it with me before. I could only reply thinking about her, trying to get her realise her potential: "It's such as shame - you're being wasted. You have real talent and it should be used"

That became the start of a major 'fuck you' tantrum. From a 26 year old woman. Jesus, the sniping I heard (from her) behind my back. You see, she'd got upset at the fact I'd 'offended' the game she played and loved. How? What? Huh? Ok, even if I did 'offend' the game why is that her problem?

• I've spoken to many people before about these kinds of experiences. Many times I've heard of people excluded from a group for raising issues, criticising the ref team or similar.

LARP in general, does its best to control these issues. Mostly, it ends up as whining and complaints - mostly also because many see differences in rules or system concepts as 'subjective' and therefore open to interpretation - when in fact, many things (head hits?) can be ruled objectively.

• More than that, few LARPers will actually confront issues within a system. There is a certain amount of fear, I feel, that were one to critique the game that referees would take it personally and ban you, or 'spam' you with attacks or lower your character's abilities. The amount of bitching and behind-the-scenes- badmouthing is breath-taking - an aspect some more long-term LARPers deride as 'yet more whining', but yet must contain a grain of truth otherwise the scale of the bitching wouldn't exist.

It's bullying. Whether from referees or from players, it doesn't matter. It's cruel, it's twisted, it's demeaning and it's just plain wrong. This kind of thing damages mentalities - and no, before you say something, not everyone can 'get over it' or 'man up'. Fuck you for thinking so.

Corruption doesn't stop there. I hear this particularly bad system this guy has a problem with has many layers, so ingrained that players have threatened to leave if the game changes. if this doesn't highlight the amount of bullying that goes on, I don't know what does. You shouldn't have to kowtow to players wishes - or anyone's for that matter. "Do it, because I say so". Um... No.

If you've got an issue, if there's something to say, you should say it.

And you shouldn't be afraid to do so.