Open Letter to Our Landlords

Dear Marlon and Joana,

First, before I begin truly, I would like to highlight – once again, for the… 6th? …time – that, had to you talked to us politely, met with us in reasonable manner as I suggested, this whole mess can be avoided.

But no – you had to send nasty texts and messages to my partner, you had to be aggressive – you had to start pointing fingers, try to intimidate us – my partner in particular. This type of behaviour is that of bullies – I find your conduct to be the conduct of the worse, vile kind. You try to attack someone you perceive as weaker and less capable of you. It’s the very worst kind of abuse. 

You’ve also been incredibly childish. I knocked on your door and gave you my number and said:

“Please do call me some point later this week. I’m normally home after 6:30, so that would be a good time to call.”

You said: “why not talk now?”

I said: “Because it’s impolite to talk in the street.”

You then send my partner several text messages and 5 phone calls in around 20-30 minutes. OOOOO – SOMEONE GOT BUTTHURT! 

And then you have a go at my partner – “why didn’t you answer my calls?” Why the fuck would he? Why would he want to answer the phone to violent, egomaniacal harridan you become all because I dared to approach you myself?

Now, even with all this behaviour, let’s actually talk about what the problem is – and we’ll take it from both perspectives. 

And, I’ll end off with a handy guide of bullet points of the laws of the for you – since, not only do you not have any clue, but you seem to think they’re exactly the same as whatever back-water part of the Phillipines you crawled out of. I say back-water because you clearly demonstrate on a number of occasions that you can’t even behave in a reasonable manner – going so far as to wait 3 hours for my partner to leave the flat – after barging into our room uninvited – so you can accost him in the street. That’s more than a little be suspicious, and the act of savages.

The Problem As Perceived By You

You are upset because – according to you – I moved in with my partner over a year ago and neither of us told you. This has caused you an increase in bills, meaning less “profit” for you. In understand the predicament for you – but:

• We did tell you. I was there when my partner called to tell you. You gave us permission. I asked my partner to get it in writing and, unfortunately, he never did
• If I’ve been there as long as you’ve said – how the fuck have you not noticed? Landlords are meant to carry out periodic checks on the property – to make sure it’s secure, safe and sound for the tenant and to make sure the tenant’s behaving. You haven’t done this. Ever. You lost money because you didn’t know I was there? Get over it. It’s your loss. I’m sorry I’m being callous here – but, with how you’ve acted, I can’t really see how you expect me to care
• You have a verbal agreement with my partner. It’s informal. Thereby, you should expect your tenant to take a relaxed view. You want it done properly? Get it in writing
• You can’t prove anything – you haven’t performed checks. Any evidence you possibly have is way after the time you told us you’re increasing the rent to cover me being there – which implies that you agree to be there. And – seriously?! – you have a statement from the tenant across the hall from us that I’ve been here that long? You mean that other tenant we’ve got on so well with, right? It’s your word against ours. Let it go already

Neither I nor my partner are attempting to get something for nothing. We’re not trying to deceive you. 

Our Perspective

If anything, your behaviour shows it’s completely the other way around. We’ve never hidden anything from you – but now we’re talking about leaving, you’re trying to claim that “the rent should have been higher since the beginning” and “we said it’s for one person”, and want to claim “back pay”.

No. You want more money for whatever reason, and you’ve come up with an excuse. 

Practicably, we do understand that “bills have gone up” – but seriously, since it’s Multiple Occupancy Housing, there’s no way to show a significant increase in bills.

The very fact you’ve been pursuing my move in date with my partner show that actually, you can’t tell if there was an increase or not. So it’s clearly not about “increased bills” really is it? You know we’re thinking of moving out and you’re trying to get more out of us. 

However, we appreciate that there’s extra wear-and-tear and the like – and not being unreasonable people – we agree to a rent increase.

Which, you’ve already suggested.

And we paid.

The Law

• As an informal agreement, my partner doesn’t actually need to tell you when I moved in, or even if we’re thinking about it, or I have. There’s you have no proof of anything that specifically exists to exclude:
1. A partner in general
2. Me in specific
• The rent increase bears with it the implication that I’m allowed to be here. Thanks for that, by the way
• You cannot legally evict me – I am not your tenant. My partner is. You need to speak to him
• The number and manner of your messages and phone calls is constant enough that my partner and I could reasonably say it’s harassment. This is a criminal offence
• You can’t legally charge back-pay. So I’m certainly not paying. If my partner does then he’s a gullible fool
• My partner paid you a deposit. He’s never had anything in writing to say it’s in a protected scheme, so we assume it’s not. When we move out, we can legally start proceedings against you to get that money back. The Courts can also issue you with a fine of up to 3 times the amount of the deposit
• My partner’s tenancy is legally classified as an “Assured Shorthold Tenancy” (AST). As an AST, because the deposit is not in the legally required scheme, you cannot evict my partner. At all
• Also, as he didn’t receive a written agreement (the law says no longer than 2 months after he moves in) then the above ruling applies. So that’s 2 things to sort out
• You’ve turned up to the flat many times and simply let yourself in. Last night, you forced your way into our room uninvited. Every single incidence of that is illegal. If you want to enter the property, you should give at least 24-hours written notice. Yeah. Bothersome, right?
• You’ve never provided an energy efficiency document for the flat – nor have you ever provided a certificate to show the gas here is safe, or the electricity and wiring is safe. For all we know, we’re living on a time bomb
• There’s multiple cases of repair in this flat – from the open-topped power shower, to the broken gas hobs, to the wires sticking out of the only working lighting fixture in the hallway, to the mould-covered, wood-worm infested bathroom because the extractor fan is too small. Guess who’s responsible for all this? Give you a clue – it’s not your tenant’s…

So there you have it. My statement.

I suggest you get yourself a solicitor if you want to do anything beyond shutting up and taking our money.

When LARP Goes Right: The Catharsis of Generous Play

I’ve been musing for a while on what to write, not merely because I have so much I want to talk about, get out of my system (the vile I have for bad attitudes burns – and as we all know, it can come out in horrific ways; I want to use this blog as a way of exorcising it), praise, bemoan and rejoice at.

To be honest, I sometimes feel that no one would want to hear my thoughts in any case, as my posts and thoughts tend to be of a critical nature – I feel I must point out that this I think is just my nature; I’m an analyser. Some people don’t start or do anything for fear of failure or success. I, on the other hand, tend to do and then look back and be critical. I’m as highly critical of myself as I am of others.

So people tend to see this as a bad thing as I’m “always moaning” or “never happy” or “think that other people are stupid” – all of which are as far from the truth as possible. If anything, the biggest reason behind my social anxiety is self-criticism. It’s as much my problem as it is yours.

The thing is, I see it as a positive thing. Without feedback, without criticism, we do not improve. We don’t grow and change. If it weren’t for a dramatic change in circumstance, we would never change. I have always been, and will always be, open to criticism and debate, open to changing my mind and seeing another perspective – as someone that places an emphasis on science in life, on evidence and logic, there can be nothing grander than emulating scientific thought, constantly re-evaluating and determining a new resolution if the evidence or logic shows me as wrong.

For this reason, yes, I do point out flaws where I see them and they affect me, friends, family – even people I don’t know when I see racism, homophobia, misogyny. Without this, how will things get better?

But this month, we’re going to move away from the gloom – into the realms of what goes right.

My local LARP is Player versus Player. I get the impression most players wouldn’t want PvP (especially in the UK?) as LARP has a seriously bad reputation for back-stabbing, bitching, griefing and down-right abusiveness. There’s a reason for that – because it does happen, A LOT, and LARP as a whole tends to neglect its responsibility to eliminate these things. I mean, com’on – even Empire has decidedly moved away from at least physical PvP

Worse, I would say LARP as a community specifically enables such behaviour and to a degree encourages it. I will happily present my thoughts to people that would argue otherwise or wish to hear my reasoning. I will also happily suggest ways this situation may be changed – I might not be totally right on all my ideas, but I know none of them are wrong.

I found this post a while ago by Mirror’s Song: In defence of PvP at larp

I’m thinking it’s a bit ridiculous that PvP needs to be defended, on three grounds:

• If you don’t like PvP, don’t play it
• PvP can be fun – the problem is therefore decidedly NOT PvP that is the problem, but the way people approach it
• Remember, play to have fun – no matter whether you PvP, PvE or anything else, if you focus on the fun, why would it turn nasty? If you’re not playing to have fun and bring fun to others, you don’t deserve to be playing in the first place

I can totally understand why some people get upset with In Character conflict at a LARP, and I can also get that some people feel upset when their character dies and the one person they thought would help them, won’t – or worse (shock! Horror!) is the person behind it!

The problem is that the person being upset knew they were walking into a PvP situation, and didn’t get any fun out of it. Why? Did they want to win and got upset about being wrong? Maybe they suffered a set-back they thought was unfair?

These issues need to be talked to with the referees, who need to give a clear, concise response – preferably in writing so that when questioned they can show others: “see? This is what happened”. It’s especially true for referees and game organisers – because then, if they’re wrong, you can point out to them where they went wrong and why, and they can then respond to it properly and maturely.

As you see, this also links back to my earlier paragraphs about criticism and feedback.

The biggest problem with any game, I think, is when the goals and aims of players to organisers, organisers to players and players to players don’t match (not necessarily ‘disagree’) – are you creating stories, or gunning for achievements?

I think this needs to be stated by the game organisers as a guideline: creating stories means weakening someone rather than outright destroying them as this weaves interesting drama. Gunning for achievement would require you to destroy them, so they don’t overtake you again.

I think for my local LARP the first instance is better, even preferable because there’ always a way back, if you want it. You just have to be willing to fight hard enough – that and the drama is fun! People pointed out to me on my 3^rd game or so that when another player kills your character it can be quite fun because it creates a story that is emotional. Last time I talked PvP I mentioned the execution.

One player mentioned to me that’s is actually more fun when you get killed by a friend. This is brilliantly true – you walk over to them, shake their hand and say “well done, mate. Nice one. Glad it was you” and that it’s been a good game of chess between you because you wove a drama together.

Your IC should never affect your OOC – so why the hell does PvP need to be “defended?”

At the last game I saw proof of it: two characters got so angry at one another there was shouting, bloodshed and one stormed away in anger. That player later approached his rival and said “excellent, dude, loved it. Good role-play”.

The thing is, the player that was telling me it’s better to die from a friend? Yeah, he used to play at the LARP I used to run.

I remember that once, his character was possessed by a powerful spirit that made his say vile things to the other characters – verbal violence as his brief was “short of actually harming them”. I remember that a few players got really pissed at him for this – they were taking IC to OOC – even my referees were saying he was showing his “true colours” by his behaviour. I defended him, stating the IC =/= OOC principle; eventually I gave up arguing, and he was later asked not to return after numerous incidents where grew increasingly agitated at the game, me and my refs.

I totally understand his position in this, and I admit I failed him: I should have argued more on his behalf and put my voice to his, giving him a chance to speak out. To be honest, my game should have ended there – my referees were clearly corrupt enough to spoil the game for people they didn’t like. People, that, professionally speaking, they shouldn’t have opinions over.

I’ve heard before that people say that LARP can be cathartic and healing for the soul. In 12 years of gaming I cannot say that is true. But I can say I experienced it at my local game at the last day event.

Before, LARP for me was CP, once LT and a couple of others. Those LARPs are competitive, achievement-based games – PvP in these games can certainly be aggressive, harsh, and players can easily get upset with it because it can be quite cold and uncaring. My referees and other players came from such games, too – it’s easy to see why they didn’t feel comfortable with PvP in my game.

It’s also because of this that I’ve come to realise I’ve never been too comfortable at LARP; it’s always been competitive, and the back-stabbing and bitching just made it worse. Competition can be great, but it only takes a bitch to make it unfair and miserable.

I finally understood the healing at the last game. You know there’s others out to get you, you know there’s conflict and schemes – but you also know you have friends.

I realised my character has friends IC with character played by people that I don’t speak to often OOC. I realised that OOC I have friends that support by brattish ways IC (I’m sure Michael will forgive me at some point!) and I realised I have friends that I could argue with, be annoyed at, kill and betray IC and we’d still be friends afterwards OOC. This sense helped be relax a great deal: I realised I have friends – on either IC and OOC sides – specifically because we help each other to have fun through telling stories. Friends that see the drama (say it in your campest voice!) of IC, not the bitching of OOC, friends that want everyone – me, you, themselves – to have fun, and not purely out to “do one better” and “screw over the other guy” in the process.

This, then, is the catharsis.

One of the biggest problems in any RPG game played in a group is when there’s a conflict on the perception on the nature of the game, or where goals conflict. This is, sometimes, down to a certain player or group of players having different goals from others, creating conflict – mostly caused because that player is trying to “get one over” on others, to “screw the other guy over” – it’s easy to see how this bleeds from IC to OOC.

It’s partly because the group members don’t listen to one another, treat each other with respect. And don’t say “respect is earned, not given”. Bollocks. We all deserve a certain amount of respect, because we’re all people, with feelings and emotions all that jazz.

But it’s mainly because there’s a difference of opinion on sharing fun – when the goal is less or more than simply about being fun.

But isn’t that what we play games for? To have fun?

When that’s the case, catharsis begins.

Even in PvP.

It's Like Running a Shop

Like running a shop, easily the worst thing about running a LARP is the customers. Not the people attending, not the crew or other referees. The players.

I know, that sounds horrendously unfair doesn’t it?

It also happens to be true.

The reason is mostly obvious – crew, referees and other attendees (such as your on-site cameraman) can all be given directions, instructions, and generally told what to do or not do. They help make the game – and what’s more, want to help make the game – and that means they stay within the guidelines, recognise the boundaries and at least make an attempt, no matter how faux, to get along.

With players you don’t have any of those luxuries. They’re like the worst-behaved step-child: “you don’t control me!”

Well… no, I don’t. Nor do I want to. Doesn’t mean you get to go stomping all place, demanding shit you don’t have any right to access, snob your way through “I know better” and generally behave like a spoilt little brat.

There’s numerous lists and ‘guides’ written on the internet about how to deal with these kinds of bad players, but for some reason, in LARP it’s so much harder to do. Why? Because of the nature of the game, its players – but mostly, because of other, really poorly managed games that spoil it for the rest of us.

A few examples:

I once attended a Linear game of a local LARP called “Shadow Realms”, run by a portion of Seaxe and Sorcery. It’s a high-fantasy (read: on LSD) system, with high-hits, much flailing and generally ‘epic’ type Player Characters.

When the ref turned up he told us it was “something I’d just written on a napkin at the bar late last night”. Woo – way to plan in advance.

The “Linear” consisted of 4 Encounters (yes, you read that right, 4) for an 8-hour game that was essentially:

• Scared villagers calling ‘singles’ that ran away from the players when they could
• Tough villagers calling ‘doubles’ that attacked the players when they could
• Scared barbarians calling ‘singles’ that ran away from the players when they could
• Tough barbarians calling ‘doubles’ that attacked the players when they could

Bearing in mind that all the Player Characters except a low-ranking Baron (I think he was a Baron, some knight anyway) and a fae-like faerie had armour and dexterity to easily ignore a ‘double’ (I believe a couple t ‘triple’ calling crew were added later, but still). Even though damage is never really ignored (the bruising rule means you still suffer 1) when PC’s Health Pool is around 75, suffering 1 damage per hit is pretty pointless.

During the game the low-level Baron character was seriously wounded and the other characters didn’t have any healing abilities (including potions – seriously, WTF?) and so the Baron started dying and went past the Grace into death.

He stamped his feet and cried – yes, he really did stamp! He was really upset – which is understandable because we all get attached to our characters.

But the lead ref turned round and gave him a “full heal”. No reason, other than a whining player that was behaving like he was 6.

In a similar vein, I remember being at Alrune where a PC that had only been around for 2 games died within the first 30 minutes. She was a bit stupid, got overlooked by the healer, it happens. But no – the game controller looked down and said “oh well, I suppose we better do a resurrection ritual”. Why? Because he was upset at a Player Character death. Fair enough, some systems have resurrection and that's cool - but not for a character that's been played for 1 game and 30 minutes - not even long enough to get a new ability or Experience.

In the UK LARP group on Facebook I once lamented that in a particular fest-system it’s difficult to get shiny-shiny items because they were so easily handed to friends of referees and there was a cap cos the game team didn’t want to saturate the system with them.

I received at least 10 messages from people more-or-less saying “I totally agree here – I’ve seen it a lot/I’ve done it myself, I wish I could openly say it and not have the system crush me”.

This kind of bullshit needs to stop.

It gives players a false sense of superiority, flexibility and power. It inflates players and referees egos so much so that when they attend other games they think the game will accommodate them as well.

I had a player once attend my game and stamp their feet and scream right in my face because they wanted to be able to transform into a bear – there was no means for her to do it, but she was going to get it, dammit! In another game she attended, she suggested it and the games allowed her to sink creation points into a skill that didn’t exist until she came along.

The game had made an allowance for her – without her having to put any effort in or give anything up that she wouldn’t normally have to. The system broke for her.

So she expected me to do the same.

Smaller games, new games, more free-style games all suffer because of the way larger, more influential or developed games perpetuate the image that games are “player lead” or that players are in control.

In a blog written by a friend, Mr Hunter After-battenberg says about the backstabbing and bitching rot was pervading his favourite game of Labyrinth – a game famous for its use of the Chislehurst Caves in Kent.

I know the Hunter to be a rather jolly fellow – so to read this dour, depressing tale of keyboard bitching (isn’t it always nowadays!) made my heart really go out to him. The line he was told “oh that’s just how they are, they're always like it, nothing we can do” from the referee just goes to highlight that point – by the referees not taking action, they were encouraging bullying, intolerance, and players getting their own way. It’s bullshit.

I highlight this as a symptom of poor management in certain games.

Rude people exist everywhere. Bitches do too. A couple of my friends are being manipulated by someone and they’re finding it very difficult to understand that a person they trust and know so well could be two-faced and using them for their own ends. I guess I see it easier than them because I’ve been in their position and suffered for it due to a lack of action on my part.

But that’s exactly it, isn’t it? There’s the two-faced that don’t care that they’re putting a friend in the middle and trying to stretch them into odd shapes. There’s the bitch who ruins others fun by targeting others for some slight. There’s the one that twists words and cuts deals with the refs cos they’re mates and why shouldn’t they get anything? From the harasser that sends nasty messages online to the ‘offended’ type that can’t believe they can’t play or wear or do whatever the hell they like during Time In – even if it is at the expense of others.

And we don’t want to admit it. I didn’t. I lost my game because of it.

We don’t want to come to the conclusion that our friends are liars, cheats, or bastards. Perhaps it’s because we think it shows something about ourselves that we hang around and have a friendship with these people – in the same way I ban racists and homophobes from my friend list on Facebook.

Maybe these players are the domineering type, and we don’t stand up to them. Maybe they’re the manipulative type, and try to guilt-trip us into doing what they want. Maybe they’re the back-stabbing type, who will post multiple things about you in multiple forums or posts of Facebook or Twitter just to let everyone else know that they think you’re a dick.

And that’s also exactly the problem. By not saying “no” you’re actively being part of the problem, whether you like it or not.

One of my friends is in the unfortunate position of being friends with one such person described above. He wants to remain friends, and for this reason, doesn’t want to confront said miscreant.

But why should he? It’s nothing to do with him. He should be allowed to play the game, have fun, and have friends. That’s exactly his choice – I may have tried to warn him, but he chooses what he wishes to do.

BUT. If that person is a player at my game, I’d happily argue that it’s my moral imperative to ban them. Even if they are friends with me. I don’t think it’s’ a case of the game coming first, but simply that there’s more than my friends at my game. There are others to think about.

It’s a sad fact of being a referee – you’re friends with people during the bits in-between being a ref – but some really can’t see that there’s a line between being in ‘professional’ referee mode and being in ‘friend’ mode.

I once had to do exactly this with one of my players. I refused to discuss it, especially openly as I thought that the issue was with that player and that player alone. How wrong I was.

He posted it about on Facebook so everybody could see what a bad, bad person I am. I had several IMs asking me about it – which I didn’t do, because I thought that was part of being professional. At the same time, this guy told everyone I hadn’t given a reason – I had indeed given a reason, but perhaps I should have put it in writing or gained a signature to say he’d received it. I just didn’t because I didn’t want to involve anyone else – which he did. 

If you’re a ref in this situation I urge you to put all discipline in writing. If you’re in the wrong, you should be open to being challenged and the possibility of retracting your statement.

I received a PM on Facebook from another player telling me how “unprofessional” me and my team had been in dealing with player at fault. You mean as unprofessional as bitching on Facebook for everyone to see? You mean as unprofessional as sending me a PM to my private account, not the group account, game account or game email? You mean as unprofessional as clouding the facts and spreading it around so others think it’s ok to send me nasty emails? Yeah. Ok. I guess being professional does mean acting like a 6 year old then.

To be fair, you may not know you’re doing it. That’s why it’s a referee’s job point it out to you so it can be sorted in cleared up.

On the other side of the coin – you have a moral imperative to be a considerate player, just as much as it’s the referee’s moral imperative to discipline you for not being considerate.

Swings. Roundabouts. 

How to Complain – A Guide for LARPers

Perhaps the worst thing about LARP is the bitching and back-biting. It’s not the ‘drama’ – the playground, school-kid ‘I’m not talking to her because of what they said about our Sharon’ – that’s just fall-out.

No, the worst thing is what causes it. The rumour-mongering, fear-spreading, lie-creating, poisoning that seems to be accepted as part of the community.

I can see somewhat why this exists – though I probably am going to have to refer to stereotyping and generalisation to do it. Why? Because some people really think that because they fit into box labelled ‘X’, therefore they should also conform to the perception of ‘X’.

LARP doesn't have a forensic system of analysis, nor structure for policing itself. Indeed, many LARPs don't have any any form of conflict resolution other than "someone's done bad, uh... ban them, uhuh-huh...."

Take this example from Profound Decisions (of all people...):

Yes, they will warn you, and can potentially ban you, based on hearsay. That's disgusting - it's downright abusive.

But when all you can rely on is word-of-mouth, it's not surprising. But it does mean it's open to abuse, and that's exactly what I've known to have happened before.

I happened to my old game, when I banned a person for 1 Event - well, I say 'ban', I mean 'gardening leave' - it was an issues of possible Conflict of Interest. Without going into detail, the guy bitched about it over Facebook - and had overy 50 comments, most along the lines of:

"I don't know what this is about, but yeah, fuck that system, they're cunts!"

Way to go judging something when you have no details whatsoever.

Dafuq? We wouldn’t give the time of day to these kinds of pathetic remarks at any other time. In our daily lives, someone bitches or moans, you carry on as usual. Why on earth do we give such weight to these drama queens?

To be fair, I think the bitchy types are a very, very small portion of the LARP community that unfortunately many people pay attention to. What isn’t justified, however, is exactly how much influence these people have.

For some reason, LARP as a community not only accepts these people, it actively embraces them.

We’ve been fooled into thinking that, because you’re always going to get bitches and bitching, therefore it’s ok. I was actually told by a few group members of a local LARP that, as a referee, you shouldn’t confront people that you know to be bitching, or independent people have told you are bitching, simply because “you’re always going to get them”.

So….

That makes it ok then, yeah?

Of course not.

Bitching is a degrading process, like wind erosion or mould. It doesn’t change someone’s mind now… but it does eventually. It wears a persons’ perceptions thin, twists ‘truthiness’ to appear as the bitch wanted.

Talking with my mum about this recently, she told me that “people who believe the bitching about you, weren’t really friends to begin with”.

I don’t think that’s true. I think their opinion was changed over time by more than one individual – thereby, the ‘stories’ seem to corroborate, and therefore must be true. Past incidents get twisted to appear different in hindsight.

So, I’m asking for every LARP participant to do the following:

•  When you hear someone complain about the game, game staff, or another player, tell them that you’re not interested, it’s nothing to do with you!
• Stop asking for opinions on a game, game staff or another player – especially if you might not like the answer! The number of times someone’s got upset about an opinion…

 Oh my… the times someone’s reacted to something ‘offensive’!

I was once asked my opinion on a local LARP that the person asking me used to attend. I’d been to maybe 6 Day Events. My opinion of the game was rather dim – I hated the game, I hated the man that ran it, I hated the set-up, the design, the rules. To me, it was a shit game – it does nothing but upset its players, made them feel worthless and cheat everyone that it came into contact with.

The person asking was so offended! How dare I give such a bad opinion of ‘their’ game!? I surely must be such an arsehole to say such things! Um, no, love… you asked for my opinion. I gave it. If you didn’t want to accept what I had to say, you shouldn’t have asked. I was later told by my referee team that I shouldn’t be giving opinions on other LARPs as a LARP organiser myself – because then it was ‘bitching’. Huh? I was asked. I gave an answer – you know what the answer changes?

Nothing.

I wasn’t spreading lies or rumours; I wasn’t attacking the game or its creator. But I did give my reasons why the game was so poor, and that’s what these people didn’t want to hear – so clearly, I was being manipulative.

You have a problem with some aspect of the game? Do exactly the same as what’s acceptable in Real Life. Here’s what you should do: 

1.      Remember the difference between ‘feedback’ and ‘review’

·         Feedback is given directly to the Game Team. Not to anyone else. It should consist of:

·   What the game did well

·   What the game did poorly

·   What the game should improve on

·         Reviews are opinions in the public eye that share experiences. They should cover:

·   What you liked

·   What you didn’t – and why

·   An attempt to be non-biased despite coming from subjective experience

·   Your overall rating of the game

2.      Complain in person directly to a lead referee. They should take notes, and pass the complaint back to the Direction Team. Referees should be truly interested in your complaint, review, feedback and what you have to say – otherwise their game will not improve. Have a friend come with you, or do it for you if you would struggle with this confrontation

3.      If this doesn’t work, take it higher. Write a letter to the Direction Team, expressing your issues. The same applies here – you should expect a well-reasoned, informative response. Your issue should be taken on board as constructive feedback. Bear in mind that:

·         If you’re rude, coming from opinion only, or aggressive, prepare to be ignored entirely. No one should suffer abuse for your crusade

4.      If this still doesn’t work, write an open letter. Take it to Twitter and Facebook. Go public. You’ll get a response pretty quickly then! Bear in mind that:

·         This is poor way to do it when a simple, polite word would have solved it first. It’s also poor form in general – it should make you look bad too. But if you can show you’ve at least made a polite attempt first…

5.      If this doesn’t work, stop playing that game. The game clearly isn’t interested in you – so why should you support it with your time and money?

I must say, I’m really shocked – still! – that there isn’t a (possibly) anonymous Review site that give reviews of LARP games so we can see what the game is actually like, rather than hearing third-hand bitching.

There’s a better, healthier way to do it.

Let’s start remembering that, and reminding others.

  

Summary:

You don’t like something in a game, don’t tell your friends. Don’t tell the newbies. Don’t go out of your to spew your hate over bystanders.

• ‘feedback’ and ‘review’
• Complain in person
• Write a polite letter to the Direction Team
• If this still doesn’t work, write an open letter
• If this doesn’t work, stop playing that game

Simples.